When we enter the New Year, many of us focus on the physical things we want to acquire. For example, a new job, a new home, more money, or a 6-pack abs. We think about everything that could improve our lives and make plans to get them.
There is nothing wrong with that approach. It turns out to be just as important, especially if you’re struggling to reach your goals and need more security in your life.In fact, you can argue that letting go is sometimes More The important thing is that none of them bring us happiness without the spiritual space to appreciate and enjoy them.
When we are trapped in a busy mind and lost in overwhelming thoughts and emotions, the physical ones never give us the satisfaction we want. And we end up in a painful cycle of looking for things to free us just to realize that we can’t do anything from the outside.
I know this was my lifelong struggle. You can stop mental torture and enjoy life more by getting out of your head and entering the present moment.
I have a lot of tools at my disposal to help with these things: for example, mindfulness, meditation, and self-care. But like many of us, I recently found it difficult to use these tools in a pandemic, many work and sleep deprived toddlers, and a second baby along the way, 41 years old. I did.
So this year I decided to focus on a few things that cause immense emotional distress to us. All topics covered in the meditation package ($ 99 worth) are offered as free bonuses in the Mindfulness Kit.
I wrote these meditations two years ago on topics that are always very relevant to me, but I still find them equally relevant. Two years later. When I navigate work, parenthood, and high-risk pregnancies in the age of coronavirus.
I don’t think any of us can let go of these things forever, just as we suddenly turned on the lamps and completely overcame these very human struggles. From time to time you will make progress and revert to the old habits of others.
But I believe a little self-awareness can be very helpful. Each time you recognize what’s happening inside and choose a different response, you have a little freedom to enjoy what’s in front of you.No big profits or external changes — at the moment we It has changed, and it changes everything.
So here …
4 things to let go if you want to enjoy your life more this year
1. Need for approval
I think everyone is struggling with this to some extent, even if it looks safe at first glance. We are social creatures and are wired to give us the feeling that we belong to a tribe.
However, the need for approval from everyone is always very limited and can choke. And it only distracts us from where we need it most, that is, what we have to do to get approval from ourselves.
A few years ago, when I discussed my history as an approval addict, I wrote:
“I’m short. I’m plump. My nose looks like a pig. When I walk, my thighs touch. When I speak, I see my gums too much. I have to change my appearance. Maybe Then you will like me.
I’m obsessed. I’m analyzing too much. Get caught in the head. I stick to what I should let go. I can’t simply get on the flow. I need to learn to relax. Maybe then you will like me.
I’m shy. I’m worried. I rely on peace of mind. I would like too much advice. I’m looking for verification as a crutch. I need to be more confident. Maybe then you will like me.
Every day, every day, make a plan and that’s how I spend my life. I didn’t like who I was, so I hoped you would do it for me.
I was fine if you told me. If you just make sure I didn’t have to change. If you give me permission to be myself.Maybe then I like me. “
Really, I think that comes down to the need for approval. We are looking for permission to like ourselves. Accept yourself. Accept our choice.Believe it all is okay, believe it We It’s okay if there is room for growth
But what if you worked on it instead? What if I realize that I need to approve myself for all bids for approval from someone else, that is, as a call to find a block that keeps rejecting me?
This weekend I sent the first draft of this post to a longtime designer for feedback. That night I had a panic attack and sent him a mass neurotic rapid-fire message. Many of them are related to my work on this site.
When he saw them the next morning, he commented that it was ironic to read posts against the backdrop of those messages. I immediately felt like a scam and felt I needed to hear him tell me. “But that’s okay, you’re struggling to do your best.”
At first I was very concerned about myself, but I realized that I needed to hear the words from myself. So I cried, expressed all my feelings, and then told myself, and I was immediately relieved.
Attempting to control people and life can be stressful and tiring, not to mention wasteful, but we always do it to relate control to safety.
If you can control others, you can prevent them from hurting us or ourselves. If we can only control the future, we can be assured that we will be happy, or at least okay. Because we know we can handle what comes. And ideally, it will thrive when you get there.
However, no matter how hard you try, you cannot control people or the future. And trying only creates stress and anxiety. Because we will be fighting the reality that many are simply out of our control.
Another way is to trust that it’s okay to get things going the way you want. Because even if we think we know best, there may be something better than what we are trying to force. And no matter what happens we It’s okay because we’re strong — and those bumps on the road we’re trying to avoid only make us stronger.
I wouldn’t have chosen the events that caused bulimia or depression, or my PTSD, but I know they are strong, sensitive, and empathetic for them, and they All led me here.
And talking about my current situation, I recently realized that I’m trying to control the outcome of a new business venture because I know my partner will sell more kits to retailers in the spring. It is a growing family that will be very helpful to me as a provider.
I put a lot of stress and pressure on myself trying to make it all work, but I always remember in the past I have one particular award in my eyes the same It was just rerouting like that, not more, it’s fulfilling. My job is not to make things happen. It’s about doing your best, seeing what happens, and then making the most of what comes with it.
3. Stress and pressure
Build on the last point: Many of us put too much pressure on ourselves and create a lot of stress in the process. Our day because we need to achieve certain things by a certain time, or are in a hurry to catch up with others, or have not achieved enough to relax Tell yourself that you need to do more.
This creates this constant sensation of rushing over time, with a persistent ticking background that reminds us of the race we are losing. Like a bomb exploding, it creates this ongoing anxiety and makes it difficult to really enjoy the present.
It was free in my head, so I was pretty fantasizing about traveling abroad. Whenever I imagined walking in a park in Paris, I was completely in my vision, completely immersed in my surroundings, happy and peaceful.
If I didn’t practice being there, I wouldn’t have expected Where I was Thanks to cheese and wine, when you go there, you’ll be worried about your work, your bill, and your thick waistline.
And that’s exactly what happened. I smelled the flowers and tasted the local cuisine, but not all, but only some of it. A bomb that might explode if I didn’t think, worry, or stress enough to disable it.
Now, when I feel this inner tornado, the enthusiastic feeling that I have to do more, I remember that the freedom I’m obsessed with is available anytime, anywhere, but I need to consciously choose it. there is. Of pressure. Only I can do it myself, and I deserve it. No matter what you have achieved, it is now worth enjoying life.
We all often judge ourselves and are unaware that we are doing it. It is natural to tell our day with a cruel inner confession that evaluates everything we do as inadequate.
When I was a kid, I was doing this strange thing after talking. I silently said everything I just said and looked to see if it sounded stupid. I was probably about five at the time, but from a young age I was always afraid to get confused, whether or not it meant saying or doing something “wrong.”
As an adult, this has evolved into a permanent fear of accidentally upsetting, making mistakes, and somehow appearing “less than” others. My self-judgment was a false attempt to make sure I didn’t do anything about them, and no one else judged or rejected me.
So basically, I decided myself to prevent others from doing it-it’s crazy because it wasn’t within my control. And my own self-judgment was far more hurt than the possibility of judgment from someone else because it was constant and in my own mind.
Perhaps it was more subtle and sporadic to you — sometimes “I’m so stupid and I can’t believe I did it” or sporadic “I should have passed this by now” .. And perhaps for you, it’s not about protecting yourself from potential rejections, but rather about motivating yourself to be better.
I worked on this on the weekend when I thought I was a scam. Following a panic attack. I really needed compassion, but I couldn’t do anything effectively until I received it. So I told myself that I was a human, not a scam. And I don’t have to offend or hide about it. If I want to create the universe to enjoy the best of life, I have to accept the lowest and love myself through it.
That’s what we all have to do. Recognizing the fears that drive us when we are defeating ourselves, we find lies under self-critical thinking and provide the empathy we desire from others. It does not guarantee that they will not judge us, but it does not judge anything, so we should mitigate the impact of its realization by doing something good for ourselves.
None of these things can be easily let go. As mentioned earlier, this is an ongoing practice.
Therefore, during January, we plan to create more detailed blog posts on each of these topics, providing actionable suggestions to help us all let go in the face of difficulties.
Also, as mentioned earlier, I’m currently offering meditation and EFT tapping packages, and the new Mindfulness Kit covers each of these four themes ($ 99 worth) as a free bonus.
These are the only meditations I have ever created and recorded in collaboration with EFT Universe Certified Trainer Naomi Janzen and award-winning composer Stephen Fernley.
Each of the four broadcasts, originally released weekly for a month, begins with a short chat on the topic at hand, builds into tapping sessions that help absorb and let go of the message, and ends with guided meditation.
The kit itself contains four aromatherapy-based products:
- Relax Pillow Spray (to help you sleep faster and sleep deeper)
- Comfortable bath & shower gel (to turn the bathtub into a calm cocoon)
- Lychee flower scented candle (exhilarating scent perfect for morning meditation)
- Calming essential oil roll-on (helps create peace and security anytime, anywhere)
It also includes a Daily Meditation Practice Guide and three free extended digital guides to help you create a pocket of peace in the morning, noon, and night.
Click here for more information on the kit. If you want to get a kit for yourself or for your loved one, you have instant access to all four meditations and three digital guides.
We hope this package will help you find peace, calm and healing. That way, you will be more and more enjoyable in your life a year ahead.