“Forgive me not knowing what you didn’t know before you survived it. Respect your way. Trust your journey. Learn, grow, evolve and become. ~ Creig Crippen
When I was a kid, my immediate reaction to most things was “”I’m sorry. “
Did you have to be absent from class due to an excursion to another class? I’m sorry.
Did something bad happen to someone I know? I’m sorry.
It didn’t matter what the situation was, whether it was caused directly, or whether it was involved in some way. Even in the best of circumstances, strangely, I found a way to apologize. I apologize for everything.
I probably apologized 100 times a day (even in good circumstances). Actually, when I was about 10 years old, it was part of me that my parents bought me a stuffed animal. “”I’m sorry “I’m wearing a T-shirt.
I know they meant it with the best intentions. We all found it pretty interesting. We proudly exhibited it.
At that time, I didn’t think people had done anything wrong that they had to apologize for. I thought it was the personality trait I had. Other than someone like me, I couldn’t understand why I made a stuffed animal with such a T-shirt (to actually apologize for something).
As I got older, I didn’t stop over-apologies.Somewhere it became part of me, and Over the years, I was not only responsible for myself, but for all sorts of things that had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t until I started my own personal development work that I realized I needed to develop this bad habit.
I attended workshops, hired coaches, and found great leaders to help people free and get what they want in life. They always let us handle past emotions such as anger and sadness, and I knew I didn’t really have much anger in me.
I’m sure I had a normal amount of sadness and all the other negative emotions you really don’t want to grasp if you can let them go. But I didn’t handle them and see all of these breakthrough changes that everyone else kept finding.
In my thirties, when I heard Louise Hay’s meditation, she said: “”Guilt always seeks punishment. Therefore, those who feel guilty (especially those who have nothing to do with us) will not always allow themselves to break through and let go.
I knew then I needed to find a way to stop the excessive apology.Proverb “”It’s not a bad thing when you’re wrong or something terrible happens. What can cause a variety of problems is overly apologizing and retaining that guilt within you.
I started thinking about other ways of saying, “”“I’m sorry,” the best approach I’ve found is to replace the apology with gratitude.
This will soon change our focus. It helps us reconstruct the whole situation, frees us from worry, fear and guilt, and allows us to form a new perspective. As Kristin Armstrong beautifully states, “”Focusing on gratitude, the waves of disappointment disappear and the tide of love rushes in. “
I don’t like being late, but even if I’m a few minutes late for my appointment, I realize that it’s not really the end of the world. Others (or more than one) probably won’t hold it against me for the rest of my life (as if I held that guilt). So I learned to say, “”Thank you for your patience. I know your time is precious, and I appreciate it. And next time I will do better.
If you have a conflict and can’t go to a friend’s party or gathering, you feel terrible instead of wrestling with it and repeating it over and over again in your head. “”Thank you for inviting me. I really want to be there, but I have a commitment in advance. I’m not guilty of not being able to go to two places at once, but thank you for inviting me in the first place.
If someone is disappointed, I really look inside to see if I could do better. I remember having to stay true to my beliefs, and sometimes that means unfortunately disappointing others. I will do my best and try to be better next time.
I can apologize if I could do better. Unlike working to stop an excessive apology, you can never apologize again. But it’s not an intuitive reaction, it’s an immediate response, and I think it’s good to look at the situation again and really understand it. That way I can learn from it and continue to do better.
Excessive apologies can lead to unnecessarily guilty feelings. It should never be the first reaction or the intestinal reaction.
If you really feel regret and regret in your heart, apologize and forgive yourself for the rest.By finding another way of saying “”In situations where you don’t really need to apologize, you’ll be less burdened, less worried, and able to focus on other things. Learn, grow, evolve and become.