I have a problem! I was raised by middle class parents. My parents didn’t have the money and worked hard to find their place. They taught diligence and frugality very quickly. I was never given anything other than food and a place to stay. I worked for clothes, toys, electronics, and everything I didn’t need.
I graduated from college and paid for everything myself. I am very proud of where I am. I have my own car and pay my own rent. And I have a high-paying job in the financial world.
On the other hand, my wife and her family are very wealthy. They drive very high-end luxury cars and live big (literally quite). I’m a person who likes to earn everything they get, and receiving something “free” makes me want to vomit.
My wife’s parents are very obsessed with getting us our own home and these days they are trying to get me a luxury car. The debate and conflict between me and my wife seems endless, and I’m at a loss what to do.
Am I wrong to turn down their money? If there is a balance, what will that balance be?
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This is a problem that millions of couples across the United States want. You face two issues: pride and practicality. Conclusion: Your in-law should accept “no” as the answer.
On the one hand, you say you are accustomed to paying in your own way, and these generous offers make you uncomfortable. On the other hand, the sooner you step into a real estate ladder, the faster you can repay your mortgage and get your home’s assets. In addition, your wife may inherit some of your parents’ property in the future.
The decision must take into account the personalities involved. You can accept a home down payment loan from your parents-in-law, but your car may not. Have another conversation with your wife about what she is willing to accept from her parents and draw a line between her level of comfort and your own level. If she receives a gift, it’s not a reflection on you.
That said, there’s a lot to be gained by maintaining your own financial independence, and don’t feel like you owe a third party for your home or car. Whether it is stated or not, such gifts often carry an emotional “gift tax” that can lead to further interference in your life. To avoid further controversy, set up the system with your wife to address such demands.
Present the United Front. You are a team and your in-law risks destabilizing it.If they are offering a large gift, you Both You need to sign off. period. If not, it’s no go.
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Other works by Quentin Fottrell:
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•• We are married and have a baby on the way.My wife offered to repay my $ 10,000 student loan and $ 7,500 mortgage
•• I have three children. I resigned my home as the most responsible son.Now he blocked my phone
•• My brother-in-law confused his house and died. His landlord wants me to repaint and replace the carpet. What should we do?
I’ve always worked for what I have, but I’ve married money.My step-in-law wants us to buy a house and a luxury car — the battle is endless
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story.asp?guid=%7B20C05575-04D4-B545-764F-BFAA36BE8215%7D&siteid=rss&rss=1 I’ve always worked for what I have, but I’ve married money.My step-in-law wants us to buy a house and a luxury car — the battle is endless