Business & Investment

My brother-in-law smokes weeds, drinks and plays video games. My in-law pays his mortgage. What happens after they are gone?

My brother-in-law is a little over 40 years old and he has health problems. He also suffers from mental health problems that are rarely diagnosed because he refuses to meet someone, and in essence he only smokes, drinks and plays video games.

Now his parents pay his mortgage. I believe this is in their name, and I think they will pay all his invoices. His dad takes care of the maintenance of his house and helps with food and “necessities”. I think they also pay for his medical bills or simply allow them to be unpaid.

This year, my addict’s father-in-law was threatening his health. My mother-in-law was nothing life-threatening, but she also had health concerns. My brother-in-law is afraid that given his calm lifestyle, he may face additional health problems as he grows older.

I told my wife that they should openly discuss real estate planning with us. She agreed, but the topic is always pushed away with them. Her family doesn’t like talking about death and money. The most we get from them is that everything is split in half.

I think it’s a great plan on paper, but there are two major issues. First, there are homes that are not sold and cannot simply be split in half. Neither my wife nor her brother really want to do that. It will be rewarded.

Moneyist:My wife and I have three children. I also have three children from my previous marriage. How do you need to divide your house among these six children?

Perhaps in 10 years or so, my wife was able to pay him half the house and potentially buy him, but that causes problem 2. Her brother can’t manage his life right now, and I know what would happen if hundreds of grounds were dropped on his lap.

Neither I nor my wife want him to be homeless, but I’m afraid he’s responsible for taking care of his brother-in-law. If no one steps in after his parents are gone, he will fall into poverty. At the same time, if parents simply leave money, he can fritter it or be robbed by a debt collector.

My wife and I are wealthy and can manage our money well. Ideally, you can manage his trust and ensure that your bill is paid so that he doesn’t become homeless or starving. Obviously, this is a nasty subject that came from my son-in-law, especially those in law who are clever about death and money.

I don’t want to turn this guy’s bill over when his parents are gone.

Any advice would be great.

Responsible son-in-law

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Dear son-in-law,

Two separate interventions may be required.

It sounds like a combination of mental health and addiction issues. From time to time, one person can connect to another. Helping a brother-in-law may require family intervention rather than financial intervention. That includes taking the baton for the whole family, telling them that they love him one by one, and asking him to recover and get the help he needs.

Depression has increased among middle-aged American men over the last decade. According to a 2015 Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index survey, baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964 are at increased risk of depression. In the United States, 14% of baby boomers are treated for depression. This is well above the national average of 11%, twice the percentage of millennials.

It can also lead to more serious health problems. Studies show that overweight and obesity are at higher risk of dying earlier than healthy weight, and that gaining weight increases the risk. More than a quarter of American adults define themselves as obese, but the actual obesity rate is close to one-third of the population.

Moneyist: My friend’s father buried $ 50,000 in the backyard for his grandson. My friend has two children, but his spender brother has no children. Do they need to split it?

Your brother-in-law can explore options to ensure that your brother-in-law takes care of them after they leave, and also lacks life skills Mental health and addiction issues Someone with will not be able to handle their own finances well, especially lump sum payments. They can, at their will, prepare to put the income from the sale of their home into a living trust with special needs or income.

This may require a second intervention. This forces your son-in-law to face the reality that his son is facing a long way to recovery, and if he doesn’t want or can’t get better, he has to adjust himself. There is a real estate plan accordingly. This may include making an appointment with your in-law, and your financial planner and real estate attorney, to discuss these issues.

There are many organizations that can help parents, such as the National Federation of Mental Illness Families and the National Council for Behavioral Health. Your brother-in-law may also benefit from some type of rehabilitation or recovery program.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Bureau Helpline We also provide crisis counseling to people affected by the pandemic.

Ultimately, we cannot force our brother-in-law to seek the help they need, and perhaps through the moment of grace, we cannot admit that they need to face unpleasant or difficult truths. You can do your best. However, while it may be difficult to see this situation worsen over time, you are ultimately not responsible for the lives of others.

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A group where we look for answers to the most troublesome money problems in life. Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.

Quentin Fottrell is a Moneyist columnist at MarketWatch. You can email financial and ethical questions to The Moneyist at By emailing your question, you agree to publish it anonymously on MarketWatch.

My brother-in-law smokes weeds, drinks and plays video games. My in-law pays his mortgage. What happens after they are gone? My brother-in-law smokes weeds, drinks and plays video games. My in-law pays his mortgage. What happens after they are gone?

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