To commemorate the launch of Horse Girl Canon, we commemorated Polygon’s unique horse mascot with its own T-shirt. Behold, the official Hayseed Tea, the largest and most ridiculous wearable ode to Hulk-sized horses on this side of the Mississippi River.
Cass Marshall introduced Hayseed to the world in a groundbreaking essay in February 2019. “Everyone hates my big stupid horse on Red Dead Online.” I can’t summarize Hayseed more than Cass’s full encapsulation.
Red Dead Online, Red Dead Redemption 2Give the player a horse as the primary means of traveling the world. Your horse cannot die in Red Dead Online. Unless you are me, players carefully weigh the strengths and weaknesses of each horse in each competitive task. Unless you are me. Meet my loyal friend, Hayseed.
Horses are companions.There’s a reason why one of the first parts of the downloadable content was your horse armor The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion.. The world of Red Dead Online can feel a little quiet and a little empty. Playing with my belongings has proven to be a wonderful social experience, part of which is the story we create together. From time to time, those stories come from fighting other owners and robbing stagecoaches in the distant west.
And sometimes those stories come from accidentally trampling my friend with my big beautiful horse, Hayseed. Ignore the painful screams that come from these people. It’s ok — you can trust Hayseed.
If you want to show your love for Hayseed, you can buy a shirt at DFTBA. This is a pre-order. DFTBA will ship the shirt in February 2021. Visit the Polygon Horsegirl Canon while you wait for Hayseed’s fashion.