Someone needs to play a game about: Dive Season • .net

Australians talk a lot about dangerous wildlife. And certainly, Oz is home to some of the deadliest creatures on the planet. But let me tell you the secret. Although deadly, most Australian animals are not particularly aggressive. Death adder is one of the most toxic snakes out there. But unless you actually step on one, they prefer to keep the distance. The funnel-web spider and the redback spider can cause painful and deadly bites. But they are not willing to seek out or hunt you down. Looking at where you are walking, the Outback is usually pretty safe.

I say it most Australian animals are not aggressive. But if I didn’t mention the magpie, I would be disappointed. Australian magpies look like European and American ones. But they are completely different varieties. They are bigger than our magpies. Wikipedia describes it as “robust,” although it’s honestly close to “barbaric.” And they have small golden eyes like beads that they see with hatred. You will probably hear them before you see them. They are warblers, and at dawn every day, they sit out the window and serenade you with their unforgettable, talkative songs. They are malicious 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but in most cases they are relatively well-behaved. During the “dive season”, except for 3 months a year.

That’s a good word, “dive”. It evokes the Wright brothers, or Superman soaring in the clouds. However, it is not good to be attacked by magpies. Between August and November, magpies get angry and acquire territory. They attack when you are within 100 meters of their nest. And do boys go hard for them? In the UK, seagulls are joking about stealing chips.Seagulls nothing. The magpie flies directly behind your head and skewers you with its pointed beak. They peck your ears. They scrape you with their nails. And they won’t stop.You are will Leave their territory or they will Fight you until the bitter end. They especially hate cyclists. But everything from pedestrians to bikes to heavy trucks is a fair game.

In rare cases, it does not plunge. I only travel to Australia on a regular basis to visit my relatives, but I have been hit several times. And this wasn’t in the Outback. It was when I jumped out to buy milk. It’s scary. To be honest, forget about the Amnesia and Resident Evil remakes. this It’s a survival horror. And boys it will be a good game.

In games like this, it may be easy to portray yourself as a person. Perhaps a cyclist or pedestrian trying to escape the area of ​​the strike is obscuring, ducking or diving. It may work, I’m sure it can. But that’s not the game I’m assuming. In my game you will be a magpie, the destroyer of the world. This is not a gentle physical comedy. There are no cute, sticky, untitled pranks. Knick the piano track, amplify the screaming electric guitar, and fully open the distortion pedal. This is a side order of Mortal Kombat, a hotline where Miami meets Luftras users. Blood-stained Tarantino-style violence. Arcade massacre. There is a gusset. Feathers; claws that slice the carotid arteries when you go to the bank, plunge, and chain, kill and kill.

Things simply start. Just a pedestrian. If you dive and press the A button, it will become two like the fruit of a fruit ninja. The higher the score, the higher the difficulty. Cyclists are quick. But magpies are faster. And you can hit the guillotine with your beak at the right time. This is pest control. They have nets and ladders, but they are just as deadly as others. Don’t drop loops, plunges, and combos. Bring your troops when the sun gives way at dusk. The bullets fill the screen like a barrage, but the claws are stronger than the gun. The tank rolls. Dive for the engine. boom! Apache helicopter? Slice the propeller and watch it plunge.

I still don’t know how it will end. Maybe you fly into space and get off a military satellite. Maybe you plunge into God himself. I know this: At dawn, a human army retreats. As the sun rises over the eucalyptus tree, the final score will be displayed on the screen. And all you can hear is the magpie barking, which announces a new day.

(Disclaimer: When traveling to any country, follow local safety guidelines and treat all wildlife, including magpies, with great care and respect.)


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