If I had more money … if I just chose that job instead of this one … if I didn’t do it or just said so. Each of us spent time on the land If only.. I’ve lived there for years after my NFL career stopped. I told myself that if I made a different decision and didn’t make a particular mistake, I would still be playing. Even so, I beat myself for all of them.
I was trapped in the world of what happened, so I kept myself out of the world of what was what. But in time I realized that by choosing to live only in all cases, I could not enjoy the present moment. And now is where the miracle and joy are.
I realized that the more I could stay in the present, the better I felt. So I started practicing letting go of them all — and that’s when my whole world changed better.
Here are four proven ways to help you let go only in your case:
1.1. Let go of the past and forgive yourself.
It’s easy to look back I shouldn’t have done that, Or Should have done this instead, Or Why i didn’t know more?? My football career ended prematurely due to an overtraining injury I blamed myself. It was hard because I had too much training. But there is a Zen saying: “let go or be dragged.” For too long I allowed myself to be dragged into my heart.
But regret is a waste of time. Living with it prevents us from enjoying all the precious moments that surround us now. It’s okay to just look back at the if and learn from it, but you need to be able to forgive yourself, remember the best decision you made at that point, and move on.
Action item: Forgiveness meditation.
Forgive your past decisions in daily meditation. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it go gently. Breathe naturally and softly. Relax your shoulder blades. Softens the face. Direct your attention to the realm of your mind. Feel any emotion in your heart as you do not forgive yourself. Continue to breathe gently.
Now, imagine when and how you hurt yourself, and give yourself permission to forgive yourself for them. Feel your heart filled with forgiveness, comfort, and warmth. With all your heart, focus on forgiving everything yourself. Then, each time you hurt yourself, extend that forgiveness one by one. Repeat for yourself as you do: I forgive myself..
I found that the faster you forgive, the faster you will be happy. When we forgive in our daily habits, we open ourselves to endless possibilities. Resentment is the wall around our hearts and prevents us from fully experiencing life. The more we can forgive, the more energy we release to create the life we really want.
2. Think of all the positive things that came from that situation / decision.
Every time I was cut by the NFL team or rejected by my coach, I think it was the worst thing that could have happened to me. But in retrospect, I learned that I’m building resilience. Rejection made me stronger. Best of all, when my career ended earlier than planned, it created a gateway for me to discover yoga and meditation and make them a profession. This was the role that allowed me to give back to others and help their own challenges, which changed my life. If I had gone according to plan, I would never have found this opportunity.
Action item: Write down the good ones.
This is easy: write down in your diary a list of five positive things that came out of your past situation. It may sound like a challenge, but you’ll have to stop at number 5.
3. You don’t have to know everything.
For me, it was always the NFL or bust and I had no backup plans. My goal setting and vision helped me: I was able to achieve that goal. But when it was over, I didn’t know what was coming next and I was afraid. I always had a peculiar plan, so I was stuck with the belief that I had to know what to do next. I lost sight of the present and lost myself. I remember being worried about the future all the time, so I was afraid of anxiety and couldn’t concentrate on the moment I actually lived.
But it’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do or have no plans for your next career. You can create the future while enjoying the moment. As you’ve heard, when one door closes, another opens. You need to stop staring at the closed door and look at the open door.
Action item: Let’s open the door.
Remember: your story is not written. No one knows what will happen next, but our minds know what we want to achieve. Find a quiet place and read your diary. What do you want to try? Where should i go Make a note of the five things your mind is encouraging you to consider.
4. Remember that now is the best time to plant a tree.
For almost 15 years I thought I was one thing. It’s a soccer player. This was the label I gave myself. When it was robbed of me, I felt worthless and dreamless. But when I realized that living in the past prevented me from enjoying the present, I was able to move forward.
One of my favorite lines comes from the movie, In the sky of the show shank: “Live busy or die busy?” The saying goes into a mantra and continues Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) and “Red” Reading (Morgan Freeman) despite the impossible possibilities and despair. ..
Action Item: Find your mantra.
What is the phrase that goes into the present form from just the case?You may want to try Live a busy lifeOr come up with your own. It doesn’t have to be complicated, it’s just clarification. We all have our own mantras that prevent us from living in the past and return to the present. Take the time to find the one that suits you.
These four actions made a big difference in my life. I practiced them to exercise, and gradually they became part of who I am. And I realized I hadn’t lost myself completely after football — I still had some of the same positive habits. When I was young, I went to the field alone and practiced kicking again and again. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was a form of meditation. Realizing that, I had a strong sense: in my case it just turned into gratitude. There are still many things I am grateful for.
Former NFL kicker Sean Conley (Detroit Lions, Indianapolis Colts, New York Jets) suffered a career-end injury due to overtraining. He began practicing yoga as part of his rehabilitation and soon embraced yoga mindfulness, meditation and philosophy as a new direction of life. He is currently a yoga teacher and owns Amazing Yoga with his wife in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. His new book is The Point After: How One Elastic Kicker Learned There’s More in Life Than the NFL (Lyons Press, 2020). Find out more on seanconley.net
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