As a woman taught in Indian culture, I have long believed that women should not start having sex. It’s a man’s job. I believed that women should be pursued inside and outside the bedroom. The woman in my house observed the purdah in front of the man and was always fully dressed. Since I was a kid, I studied at a well-known university, and after working for several years, I had this belief until I became an adult. In my relationships, I wait for men to start, undress, and invade. When I entered college, my boyfriend told me to ride and I was scared. How can I get power?
My personality is obedient, but by choice, and by my general carefree personality, I like to get things started and let him take over. Alfred Kinsey, a pioneer in the field of human sexuality, correctly stated that “the only universality of human sexuality is variability.” When it comes to sexual preferences and preferences, each of us is not the same. Even Vatsyayana, the ancient Indian philosopher who wrote Kama Sutra, classified men and women based on their genital shape.
A man with a small penis “Hare” (Rabbit) Then the average penis-sized man “Bull” And plus size man “Horse”..Woman with a small vagina or “Yoni” Known as “deer”, The average is “Mare” And with a big vagina, “elephantant”..
Let’s talk about the difference in libido
When you hear the words “sex drive,” “libido,” and “desire,” you’re probably thinking about one thing. It’s feeling like having sex. But it’s much more complicated. There are actually two completely different types of libido:
Spontaneous sex drive – You have a spontaneous libido if:
- You feel the desire for sex at seemingly random times throughout the day.
- You may be busy with work, and the idea of having a night of extraordinary passion suddenly flashes.
- You are the one who most often starts having sex in your relationship.
- You tend to want to have sex more often than your partner.
- You can feel turned on in many different situations.
Responsive sex drive – You have a responsive libido if:
- You rarely think about sex.
- Sex doesn’t sound attractive until you’re in the middle of it.
- At the end of sex, “It was fun. Why don’t you want it more often?”
- You rarely start having sex with your partner
- You tend to want less sex than your partner.
- The situation needs to be “just right” for you to feel turned on.
In general, men tend to have spontaneous desires, while women tend to have sensitive desires. Understand the sexual turn-on process. There are two elements.
- Mental awakening – When you want to have sex or feel good to have sex
- Physical awakening – When your body is ready for sex. Women get wet and men get erections. Both men and women have nipple erections, increased heart rates, and deep breathing.
The differences between spontaneous and reactive libido are as follows:
- Spontaneous sexual desire / sexual desire – mental desire comes first.Later physical awakening
- Sensitive sexual desire / sexual desire – physical arousal comes first.Later spiritual desire
Spontaneous libido is when your spiritual desire comes first. When you realize you’re feeling, you’re just spending your day. You go and start having sex with your partner, and you get physically excited when you go. Responsive libido is the exact opposite. I don’t feel mentally interested in sex until I’m already physically excited. When you see an erotic scene in a movie, you may start to think “Hmm, like”. Or you may be kissing your partner and beginning to take an interest in taking it one step further.
Why is it important?
Most people consider desire to be voluntary because it is the way we see it in movies. The couple will spontaneously feel sexual desire at exactly the same moment. They also have the time, spiritual space, and privacy to have sex at exactly the same moment.
Without knowing that a responsive sex drive exists, both partners in the relationship can be frustrated or saddened by never feeling that the responsive partner is on voluntarily. You may think that responsive partners never want sex. But that’s not true! Responsive partners want sex. They must first feel physically excited, followed by their spiritual desires.
How to fill this gap?
If you are a voluntary partner: You should spare no time and effort to physically excite your sensitive partner. You can get interested in sex by doing a light foreplay (kissing, hugging, tickling, massaging, stroking your hair). Because for them, physical arousal precedes their spiritual interest in sex.
If you are a responsive partner: You must accept being physical before you become mentally interested in sex (because you find that you are not mentally interested before you become physical)
Both of you: You need to respect that you have different types of desires and be willing to work together as a team to create the sexual life that both want.
I hope you found this article useful. For more information on sexual health, check out a healthy reading or watch a LIVE session by sexual health expert Pallavi Barnwal on GOQiiPlay. You can also connect with her on Facebook: https: //www.facebook.com/pallavibarnwalcoach