Business & Investment

Unreasonable Benefits 4-Dating

Today’s post is my fourth visit to Dan Ariely’s second book, The Upside of Irration.

Whether it’s hot

Chapter 7 describes assortative mating.

  • Dan begins by explaining his difficulty in dealing with the blow to his teen’s self-image caused by his unsightly burns.

Suddenly, I was charged with three years in the hospital and demoted from what my colleague (or at least my mother) thought was attractive to something else.

If a charming girl rejects me, do I need to marry someone who also has a disability or malformation? Do I need to “calm down” now?

Dan hadn’t changed internally, so I found it difficult to accept that his value had diminished.

I decided to avoid the problem of depreciation in the dating market by completely avoiding this problem. I was going to ignore my body in every way, [and] I certainly don’t submit to romantic needs.

However, this has never been as easy as it sounds, due to the proliferation of teenage hormones.

I started thinking about what my romantic future would be like.My personal concerns soon evolved into something more generalized Interest With a romantic dance.

Assortative mating is a phenomenon in which attractive people tend to date attractive people.

Note that attractive can mean not only rich / interesting / strong / upper class, but also not beautiful / tall / thin / strong / young / bald eagle.

  • Beauty was generally the main factor, especially for women.

However, the current generation of young adults seems to have succeeded in overthrowing this tyranny.

Dan refers to the parable of “sour grapes”. We conclude that foxes that cannot reach some grapes completely are sour anyway.

We tend to look down on what we can’t have.

I certainly realized that this was an investment. Many retail investors are obsessed with approaches from the early days that they can understand.

  • New innovations are useful because they can’t be implemented in any case and may not work well.

In cosmetology games, unattractive people often find flaws in the small flaws of attractive (and usually famous) people.

Dan wanted to know if the unattractive people were aware that they were calm.

Do women who are short and attract only bald eagle men begin to like those attributes of their spouse? Or do these women still date tall men with hair, but realize that this isn’t possible and change their focus to non-physical attributes such as tenderness and a sense of humor?

Another possibility is that people are completely unadapted (restless).

  • As Dan says, many men over the age of 50 think women in their twenties date them.

Dan used data from a Hot or Not website with a photo rating of 1-10.

If the aesthetically challenged people are not adapted, their view of the attractiveness of others will be the same as that of very attractive people. If adaptation is made, a person who is 2 can see 9 as 6 and 4 as 7.

The first point was that people agreed on who was hot.

To determine one of the other two options, they looked at the site’s “MeetMe” feature (similar to swiping Tinder to the right).

Above the photo of the woman[ミートミー]You can click the button. She then receives a notification that you are interested in the meeting and adds a little information about you.

The important thing is whether unattractive people react to people outside the league (because they are unaware that they are out of the league).

  • I don’t think this logic is convincing because it’s always mine (rational) Interest To deal with a very attractive woman, even if she thinks she is more attractive than herself.

Fortunately for Dan, the data show that in general, ugly people don’t chase attractive people.

Aesthetic solution

To prove that people learn to appreciate “compensatory attractions,” Dan turned to speed dating (Dan is a fan).

Speed ​​dating is safer and less humiliating than clubs, blind dates, friend setups, and other unstructured dating arrangements.

You get a few minutes together and then each checks the box to say if you are ready to meet again.

  • Dan’s contestants had to fill out the survey first.

We asked them to assess the importance of various criteria (physical attraction, intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, self-confidence, extroversion) when considering potential dates.

Also, it was necessary to evaluate each date (person, not experience) immediately after the meeting.

Attractive people valued attractiveness, and unattractive people emphasized other traits (intelligence, sense of humor, kindness).

Aesthetically challenged people were much more interested in going on another date with people who thought they had a good sense of humor and other non-physical characteristics, but attractive people they were It was much more likely that I would want to date someone who rated it as good-I’m looking for it.

Therefore, people adapt and less attractive learn to look for other qualities.

He and she

Men were 240% more likely to send Meet Me invitations to potential women than vice versa.

Men care more about the heat of women. This is also related to the discovery that men are less interested in their level of attraction. They were more likely to target “out of league” women.


Market failure

Chapter 8 describes what can go wrong in the dating market.

  • Dan sees the bachelor market as “one of the worst market failures in Western society.”

I think he’s wrong here.

  • My thoughts on market failure are either monopoly (price is too high due to lack of competition) or externality (pollution or global warming-price is too low due to some costs being ignored). Is it?

The market was so asymmetric that there was no effective market for dating.

Historically, women wanted protection and (financial) support, and men wanted sex (and perhaps children and subsequent dating).

  • Men can also have sex with as many women as possible, but women are protected and supported (and fed with children) by only one man (at a time).

Therefore, sexual strategies are very different, with most children in history coming from a very small number of men (20% on average).

  • Over the last few decades, we have exacerbated this problem by making it easier for women to support themselves and removing their main motivation to couple.

Dan previously commented on men’s willingness to date (“outside the league”), but it’s the willingness to date that keeps the world spinning.

  • All women want to date the best men, but fortunately men aren’t too noisy.

There is a similar story from racial dating.

  • Most men date any race, but most women prefer their own race.

The two exceptions are that many women date successful white men, especially Asian women who appear to be more open-minded.

Let’s get back to Dan, who wants to talk about online dating (a misleading term, dates have happened in the real world before Covid).

Dan wasn’t keen when he heard about the process.

How can all multiple-choice questions, checklists, and criteria accurately represent a human subject? DEighting sites treat users as searchable products and digital cameras that can be fully described by some attributes.But those people [are] Close to “experience goods”.

So like restaurant food and art.

  • Dan’s first survey was a survey of dating experience.

People spent an average of 5.2 hours a week searching for profiles and an average of 6.7 hours a week sending emails to potential partners. [but] You only meet 1.8 hours a week in real life with your future partner in the real world.

This 6: 1 ratio of online to offline (“meat space”) time is marketed by Dan, as people rate offline dating better than online (and online is worse than watching movies alone). I call it a failure.

Again, I think Dan is wrong.

  • His calculations assume that dating is an end, not a means.

I have lived with my partner for over 20 years, during which time we conservatively spent 100,000 hours together.

  • We have never met her online, but if so, we haven’t spent the time online to meet her. This would not have been the biggest bargain in history.

In Dan’s next survey, we asked online dating people about the attributes and quality they were looking for.

Experienced online dating people were more interested in experiences than searchable attributes, and this tendency was even stronger for those who said they wanted long-term relationships rather than short-term relationships.

This suggests that online matching methods are inefficient.

The standard dating habit is to watch a movie, enjoy a meal, meet at a dinner party or museum, or experience something together. You can see how that person interacts with the world around us.

So Dan set up an online chat environment in a room full of objects to discuss (images of people, shoes, movie clips, abstract art).

He then arranged a speed dating event where people met (especially) those who met online and those who met in chat rooms.

  • Participants were asked if they liked speed dating and how similar, exciting and comfortable they were.

Both men and women liked their speed dating partners more if they first met during a virtual date. In fact, they were about twice as likely to be interested in the actual date. In our virtual world, people make decisions about the same types of experiences and people we do in our daily lives.

This makes chat rooms more convenient for potential partners.

When designers design physical products, they take into account the physical limitations of people. They try to understand what humans can and cannot do. But when people design intangible assets such as health insurance, savings plans, retirement plans, and even online dating sites, they somehow forget about people’s built-in restrictions.

This quickly returns to our fundamental irrationality, the inability to behave like Mr. Spock.

As an investor, there are probably two lessons to be learned.

  1. Don’t assume that the online system is built with you in mind, or designed to help you reach your goals, and
  2. Build your own system to protect yourself from your limits.
Retirement calculator

Dan uses a retirement calculator as a similar example of product design failure.

When you enter data about expenses, the calculator will indicate, for example, that you will need $ 3.2 million in your retirement account. Unfortunately, we really don’t know what lifestyle we have for that amount of money, or what we can expect if we only have $ 2.7 million or $ 1.4 million.

Also, the calculator does not explain the process of decumulation in the same simple way as summarizing the accumulation of wealth.

This number is not converted into something that can be visualized or understood, and does not motivate you to strive for further savings.

Pensions are another market that doesn’t work well because potential buyers can’t understand their value and salesmen aren’t motivated to help them.


That’s all for today.

  • We read about 80% of the books, so there is another article in this series (with a summary).

I’m still looking for the benefits mentioned in Dan’s title.

Unreasonable Benefits 4-Dating Unreasonable Benefits 4-Dating

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