Why the right choice for you is not always an immediate “hell yes”

“If our minds and minds are not so reliable, then maybe we should question our intentions and motivations. more. If all of us are always wrong, isn’t self-skepticism and the rigorous challenge of our own beliefs and assumptions the only logical way to progress? ~ Mark Manson

I often hear people encourage others with the following advice: “If it’s not hell, it’s no.”

Don’t get me wrong. They say you know where they are coming from. Too often, we discourage hearing the emotions of our intestines. In many cases we follow the necessary tyranny. We compromise on true needs and desires. We keep our inner voice away in favor of what we expect.

Still, you can see how this well-intentioned mass of wisdom eliminates the gray areas. The more black-and-white view of the world that it inadvertently supports may not be completely useful for everyone, especially those suffering from depression and anxiety.

Sometimes or maybe an overwhelming response means I really don’t want to do this. At other times it can mean I have mixed emotions that are worth unpacking and investigating.

We often feel vague about participating in experiences that are outside our comfort zone, even if those experiences may help us grow. Our mood and current struggle can affect our commitment to activities that we may normally enjoy.

For example, when I returned to college when I was suffering from severe depression, I felt unmotivated. everything-I don’t even have a hobby that I used to love. I said no to jogging or running. It is not possible to prepare a nutritious meal. No to any experience that might take me out of a safe cocoon.

The only activity I said hell Yes It was an invitation to go to a house party with a friend and waste it. Needless to say, it exacerbated my depression and perpetuated the vicious circle.

I wasn’t of course About being healthy. Drinking my pain and running away was the only activity that elicited something close to a passionate reaction from me.

If you mistakenly apply the above advice, you may still be drinking in a problematic way and avoiding more careful activities in line with your values. of course About doing them.

Another example: A friend of mine told me that she had a week to read an hour before bedtime and the experience was great. But when she gets caught up in a Netflix show, that habit breaks down. The idea of ​​reading loses its appeal. Does this mean she doesn’t like reading? Is it a sign that she essentially likes TV?

I’m afraid not.What i do NS I think that means that activities with passive consumption are often addictive.

David Foster Wallace writes: You can rest while being stimulated. Receive without giving. “

Another example: I’m attracted to sugar. Consuming it “feels right”. I find it more difficult to pick up celery sticks. It doesn’t happen naturally.

At some point in 2012 (before moving to Uruguay), I was at a loss about my decision to teach abroad in South America.

In 2019, I even hesitated to take a vacation in Mexico City when considering the relevant work and plans (and the money needed for it). Feelings contrary to suspicion weakened my “hell yes” to “I don’t know, maybe …”. Immediately after a friend invited me.

Did I still go? Yes! Did you have a great time? Also, yes. I wish I could go back. one hundred percent.

My point is this: don’t Let me Lack of ambivalence or “hell yes” convinces you that you shouldn’t just do it For real I want to do something.

For those of us suffering from mental health, it is important to build trust in our inner knowledge. But it is also important to remember that our necessarily benevolent impulses sometimes impersonate wise intuitions.

You may notice bad feelings, but I don’t know what those bad feelings are meaning.. That can mean so many things. Instinct does not come with clear instructions.

Therefore, it is very difficult to “just listen”. What do you hear What action do we take in response to “this feels sick”?

Regarding Jesus in Hell: Immediate impulses and strong momentary reactions need to be further unpacked before taking action or blindly following, especially for those of us with a history of mental health problems and addictive tendencies. There may be. It is not always true that they clearly have our best long-term interests in mind.

The absence of “hell yes” in an instant does not necessarily mean that something is not suitable for us. Ultimately, it is important to give room for the gray areas in our lives to act in unison with our best self.

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